Ever seen a $4,000 dollar flashlight ?

Well here is one .

More to come on this soon .

Math explains a lot

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. Experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint..it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =103%

AND, look how far *** kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bull**** and *** Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!

some days it don't pay

My wife came home, with something evidently on her mind.

"Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?" she asked.

"No," I said.

She gave me a sexy little, promising smile, then reached into her cleavage and slowly pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

Wow, this seemed to be 'going places.'

"Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?" she asked.

"No," I said with anticipation.

She gave me another sexy little smile, and slowly and seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

I was getting curious at this point.

"Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 30,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

"No," I said, intrigued.

She then said, "Well, go and take a look at our car in the garage."

Life is simpler if you mind your own business

Yesterday I was at Sam's Club, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.



What did she think I had an elephant?



So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.



I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)



Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.



I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.



Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore.

And the Lamentations of their women

Not moms who whore for Bloomies money, but it didnt take long for some pu$$ys to come out all rastasnatch over the issue

RastaSnatch!!

Moms demand BS heads go splody in 3....2....1.....

By my estimation  Moms who Whore for Bloomburg  should self destruct before they finish this news article on true gun safety measures .
It seems that a Pueblo, CO middle school took proactive gun safety mesures by sponsoring a trip to the Range in cooperation  with Appleseed.

http://www.krdo.com/news/students-at-the-shooting-range-for-gun-safety/25055098

Well Done!

New year , Same crap , Different target .

Remember when every time a Shall Issue law passed there were cries of " Blood in the Streets "  and shoot outs in the parking lots ?
Well today January 1 2014  Colorado has " legal "  marijuana sales and consumption for " recreational use " . I do wonder what this will do the the number of  " medical marijuana "  cards in the state but i suspect even the hardcore stoner can see that a dr visit and a $15 card fee  will be cheaper than the 30% and up tax the state saddled the recreation end with .

However the panic is strong in surrounding states  or even the nation for that matter . The nanny mentality cannot let go of the war on a plant

Smoking marijuana in Colorado could bust drivers — weeks later — in Utah

As Colorado legalizes retail marijuana sales, Wyoming law enforcement expects bleed over

Colorado pot shops are open, but bringing it back could mean jail time


 And my personal favorite as of this time


Pot Opponents Predict 'Hogwild' Colorado Trainwreck

With snippets like  " "There are a lot of 'unintended consequences'... that will make them ponder whether this was the right decision," Kennedy said, predicting more traffic accidents, increased school truancy, higher drop-out rates and a general decrease in public health."

 and
 "Sabet predicts marijuana shops will attempt to create addicts to bolster their bottom line.
"The only way to make money is from addiction," he said, comparing future marijuana sales tactics to casinos luring in gamblers. "They have to produce addiction in order to increase their profits and in order to do that they need to start young.""

or

" Alcohol, unlike marijuana, has a very long, widespread history in terms of the vast majority of the populations of Western culture before the Old Testament," Sabet said. Because of that cultural legacy, he said, "we're stuck with alcohol whether we like it or not."

And on any restrictive issue  you just know you will find a Kennedy in the woodpile before you dig very var . 

"Kennedy, whose grandfather purportedly bootlegged alcohol during Prohibition in the 1920s, said "money corrupts" and the "power and money behind the alcohol industry" makes alcohol policy reform impossible.
But with the marijuana industry, he said, "if we can catch it early enough we can prevent some of the most egregious adverse impacts."

With all the bleats of   " blood in the streets "  and  " for the children "   the issue puts me firmly in mind of the war on gun ownership to the point that I think  I'll  just set back and await the formation  of MDBW.
That would be  Moms Demand Bong Water  ,  or whatever the hell they decide to call it .

I don't partake of dope myself , I just get sick of the same old bullcrap  that the statist pricks trot out in new wrappers .  There is NO freedom by any one , anywhere that they will approve of .  If you are Pro gun and anti Pot  you better think about that a bit .  And the same goes if you are pro Pot and think gun restrictions are great .  Neither position is logically or morally sound .